Poor Pepper
by sweetkeroline2
Summary: After nearly a decade and a half of cleaning up after Tony Stark, she thought she'd be prepared for having his teammates move in. She was quite wrong.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I love all of the characters in the Avengers. Nothing makes for good writing like an ensemble cast! **

**I thought it would be fun to write about the team moving into Stark Towers—or the Avengers HQ as it shall now be known. But then I realized it would be even more fun to write about what Pepper would have to endure, having to take care of not just Tony, but an entire team of heroes.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**(I OWN NOTHING!)**

The team hadn't been living in the Avengers Tower for three weeks before it all started.

The first ten floors of the tallest building in New York were dedicated to art galleries and tourist attractions. On top of that were twenty heavily guarded stories of laboratories, control rooms, and sleeping quarters for SHIELD. The next eighty or so floors were different types of training arenas set up to help the six heroes prepare for nearly every scenario possible. And finally there were the top two floors.

On the one 134th floor, there were five large bedrooms all surrounding a common area with a kitchen off to the side. And in the penthouse, lived the creator of the magnificent building—well the creators.

"Tony! No! We are not putting a pinball machine in the living area!" Pepper Potts exclaimed after coming out of the bedroom to see her iron clad boyfriend moving the giant video game across the room.

"It's not a pinball machine Pepper." Ironman's tinny voice informed her. "It's Pac-Man."

"It's an arcade game. You have a game room that it will look lovely in."

"It's on one hundred and thirty stories down! I want to be able to play whenever I want!" He stomped his metal foot like a whining child. "Plus I always have to wait behind a bunch of smelly kids!"

"If I can't put my Modigliani out here, you can't put your game out here!" Pepper told him firmly.

"You mislead me with that stupid painting!" Tony said lifting the mask of his helmet. "When I hear _'Nude sitting on a Divan'_,I expect something a lot more attractive than…that…" He pretended to choke on his own bile.

"It's an American masterpiece!"

"Pac-Man's a Legend! And he's a lot prettier than the nude lady!"

"I want it out of the living room by the time I get back." She replied as she put her earrings in.

"Where are you going?" He demanded, putting a hand on his hip, which looked quite ridiculous in the iron suit.

"I have a meeting with Prime Minister Singh about transports."

"What are we transporting to Egypt, funny hats?"

"It's India, and they're the main suppliers of all of our computer and aircraft parts." Pepper sighed, walking over to him and standing on her tip-toes to kiss him. "Be good." She muttered before walking towards the elevator.

/

"Come on! I bet you twenty bucks I can catch it!" Steve exclaimed as he polished his shield.

"Forget it Captain! Last time you tried I destroyed one of Stark's robots!" Clint reminded him as he munched on a sandwich.

"Well, we have a target to use now!" The soldier pointed at a crudely made target he had constructed with crayons and cardboard. "And you don't have to use an exploding one this time! Come on! What's the worst that could happen?"

"When has that question ever led to something GOOD happening?" Bruce piped in nervously from the kitchen.

"Let the good captain have a go!" Thor chided from his spot on the couch. "I found great humor in his last attempt!"

"Thanks a lot!" Steve called to the god who was already drawn back in to the reality show he had been watching.

"Just shoot a small one Clint." Sighed Natasha, who was sick of hearing the so called 'men' squabble.

Hawkeye rolled his eyes and hopped down from the counter. "One more time Steve! Then we're back to practicing with the nerf gun!" He said, hopping up on the coffee table, blocking Thor's view of the TV.

"Hey!" The Norse God exclaimed, sitting up, "I'm watching the Shooki!"

"It's Snooki." Natasha corrected, sitting next to him on the couch.

Steve spit into his palms and bounced from one foot to the other as he positioned himself right in front of the target. "Okay! Do it!"

Clint pulled an arrow out of the sheath and aligned it skillfully into the bow.

Thor, realizing what was about to happen, perked up and turned to watch the action. But as he did, his elbow pressed down on the remote causing the volume to escalate rapidly right as Hawkeye went to release.

Being a skilled archer, the sudden blast of noise only threw off his aim by a centimeter. But given that Steve was not so level headed, he jumped with a slight scream and hit the floor once he realized the arrow was coming at him.

Clint growled and jumped off the table, "Steve you chicken shi—" His insult was cut off by a loud scream.

The five exchanged panicked looks, before rushing over to the open elevator where the noise had come from.

/

"Jarvis! I'm not going to ask again!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Stark, but I've been sworn to secrecy."

"I don't care! Who is your maker? Huh?"

"You are sir."

"So?"

"So you told me to always obey Miss. Potts."

"Well I'm overwriting that command now."

"Sir, you also ordered me to always do what is in your best interest," The AI informed his—now iron suit free—boss who was halfway under his bed, "and it is in your best interest that I do not reveal to you the location of your birthday presents."

"Fine! I don't need you!" Tony grunted, as he gracelessly half-rolled, half-slid out from under the bed. He was about to continue his search in the closet when he heard the elevator doors open. "Pepper? Pepper? I wasn't doing anything! I-" He trailed off when he saw Bruce running in, with a look of fear on his face.

"Don't—don't be mad…" The fellow scientist wheezed, after his burst of energy.

Tony gave him a confused glare, already knowing he wasn't going to be able to comply with the man's request.

/

"Careful! Don't move her too fast!" Natasha ordered as Steve carried a frantic Pepper across the room.

"She needs to be comfortable! I'm putting her on the sofa!" The captain replied tersely.

"Somebody turn that crap off!" Clint shouted over the theme song to _The Jersey Shore_.

"Where is the box that controls it?" Thor demanded looking around the television.

"Just unplug it!" Natasha growled.

**CRASH!**

"Or knock it over, whatever."

"Ow! Ow!" Pepper whimpered as she was laid on the couch.

"It's okay Miss. Potts. I can get it out quickly." Clint assured her, opening his switchblade, eliciting another terrified scream from the redhead.

"What the hell?" A voice boomed from behind them. They all turned to see Tony coming out of the stairwell with an anxious Bruce on his heels.

"Oh hey Tony what's up?" Natasha asked casually, knocking the knife out of Clint's hand.

"I hope this will be the only time I have to ask this…" Tony took a deep breath to calm himself, before pointing his finger at everyone in the room. "Which one of you pansy asses shot my girlfriend?"

All fingers pointed at Clint who's jaw dropped at their betrayal. "For the record I was against it!" He defended himself.

"Who was FOR shooting her?"

"Well…no one…but…we didn't even hear her come in! She snuck up on us!"

"Oh so it's Pepper's fault?" Tony demanded, kneeling down by his girlfriend and examining her leg.

"No! It's Steve's! He's the one who insisted I shoot an arrow at him!"

"Well I would have caught it if Thor hadn't turned up the volume on the television!"

"Natasha told me that I should immerse myself in the culture of your planet by watching shows that are of a realistic realm!"

"Reality TV." Natasha corrected the god, "And Bruce told me to keep Thor occupied while he was cooking dinner."

"Really? How did this," Bruce gestured Pepper's leg dramatically, "end up on me?"

"I don't giving a flying rat's ass who is at fault!" Tony snapped, "I said no weapons in the common area! Didn't I?"

Everyone exchanged glances before shaking their heads. "No…No you never said that…" came the collective response.

"Well I'm saying it now!" Tony yelled.

"Tony! Scold later!" Pepper whimpered, grabbing his arm.

"I'm sorry Pep." Tony's voice turned soothing as he went back to looking at the arrow that was sticking through her thigh. "Banner, get me one of your laser cutters." He ordered.

Dr. Banner quickly returned with a small pen like device, which Tony then used to cut the feathered fletching off of the end closest to him. "Okay honey, I'll count to three and push it slowly…" He began.

"For Christ's sake Tony, you're not deflowering me! Just yank it out!" Pepper practically screamed. After a slight moment of shock, Tony pulled on the arrowed end and it smoothly slid out of her leg.

Using a throw blanket from the back of the couch, he wrapped her leg with it, before picking her up. "We're going down to the medical ward, you idiots stay here!" He yelled behind him as he approached the elevator. "The last thing she needs is for one of you to chuck a scalpel at her eye!"

He was about to push the down button when he noticed the wounded puppy dog routine Bruce was doing in the back. "Come along doc, I'll need your expertise." Stark called to his friend. Banner smiled and hurried to join them.

Once the elevators closed Hawkeye turned to glare at his teammates. "That's the last time I help any of you train."

_**A/N: Sorry if it was OOC or anything! I was trying to go with a more lighthearted approach for my first story. Review so I know it's worth continuing.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews! **

**I think I'll be doing connected one-shots, because I didn't really see my last chapter being conclusive at all. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

Pepper groaned as Tony set her gently in their bed. "I can't feel my face." She muttered. Her boyfriend laughed and nuzzled her cheek.

"That means that the drugs they gave you are working." He told her. "How's your leg?"

"What leg?"

"Good girl." He kissed her forehead a few time before covering her with her favorite quilt. "Now stay here and rest, I'll be back soon!"

Walking out of the room, he snapped his fingers at Bruce who was waiting patiently right outside the door. "Do you have the x-rays?" He all but growled.

"I do, and it looks like she was very lucky considering that mostly everyone who gets shot by Hawkeye dies instantly." Dr. Banner tried to joke, but Tony's glare wiped the smile off of his face instantly. Clearing his throat he held an x-ray up to the window so they could see it better. "The arrow missed all bones and major muscles. It looks like there might be a bit of nerve damage, but it will more than likely heal if she doesn't overdo it for the next couple of weeks."

"Good. She's not leaving the bed." Stark bluntly stated. "Is that the femoral artery?" He asked pointing to the faint white lines nearly a millimeter from where the arrow had gone through.

Bruce hesitated before nodding, "Yeah, she was VERY lucky." He repeated.

Tony glared at the large film for a moment before shoving it back into his friend's arms. "Stay with her." He ordered before walking over to the elevator.

/

"I don't understand why the TV had to be thrown." Clint muttered, holding the dustpan for Natasha as she swept the broken glass up.

"Thor couldn't find the remote." Steve replied simply.

"It was on the couch..."

"I was in a state of panic! I had no other way to silence the giant box!"

"There are buttons on the front…"

The conversation stopped when the elevator doors swung open to reveal a very angry Tony Stark. "I'm only going to say this once." He said, entering the main room. "No more damned weapons in the living room!" He picked up the shield and threw it into Steve's room.

Everyone nodded.

"I mean, it should go without saying!" Tony continued as he picked up Clint's bow and arrows, and Natasha's guns. "The LIVING room is for LIVING! Weapons are for KILLING!" He threw the weapons into their respectful rooms, flinching when one of the guns went off.

"Sorry, the safety must have been off." Natasha stated the obvious.

"It's bad enough that you guys have broken nearly all of the windows on this floor, as well as a 1.3 million dollar lab robot, but now you're trying to kill my girlfriend?"

"To be fair, it was never my intention to KILL Miss. Potts." Clint piped up. "I was coerced to shoot an arrow at a sissy boy!"

Thor chuckled, "Ha…Captain Sissy Boy!" He nodded in approval at the nickname. "I like that!"

"Can it Hanson! I'm talking!" Tony growled. "I know we're crime fighters and all, but let's save our shooting and smashing for the training rooms. Pepper is not now, or never will be a target. Understand?" They all nodded.

"It's still Steve's fault." Clint muttered, before holding his hands up in surrender when Tony shot him a look.

"You're at the top of my list Cupid, so you better watch it!" He threatened. "Now, I'm going to go tend to my drugged up lady love. And as fun as that may sound, I can assure you that I will not be using her state of mind to my advantage so it will most certainly not be. Are there any questions before I leave?"

There was a moment of silence before Thor raised his hand, "Can we get another Television?"

/

"No! Tony we're not watching this again!"

"But it's a new episode! Come on! It gets better the more you watch!"

"No, it's freaky!"

"Please? It'll make you more cautious if anything." He gave her his best puppy dog eyes as the first scenario of _'1000 Ways to Die'_ began. Pepper rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Okay, one more!" She relented. "But then we're watching _'The O'Reilly Factor'._"

"Ugh. Fine!" He said snottily as he turned up the volume.

Pepper was settled across his lap with an ice pack on her injured leg. She had refused to take any more of the pain pills after Tony made one too many jokes about getting her naked on the balcony.

"So you never really made it clear as to why you were in The Land of Tights and Armor this morning." He said after a few minutes of watching the gruesome show. Pepper shrugged and pretended to be interested the man on the TV screen, slamming himself into a window.

"No reason…Hey is this based on Garry Hoy's death?"

"Yeah, I guess so. They show all kinds of idiots on here." Tony muttered as they watched the man crash through the window and plummet to his death. "You never go down there though. You said it smells like old peanut butter."

"It did, but they figured out that it was coming from Steve's socks." Pepper replied. "Um, if they're about to show this man get eaten by a wood chipper I'm done!"

"My god! Is my little Pepper Potts evading the question?"

"No!" She said quickly. "I'm just watching this um…this program that you love so much!"

"Oh please! Yesterday you started licking my neck right in the middle of an episode."

"I did not!"

"Yes you did!"

"I kissed you."

"Yeah! With your tongue!"

"Tony—"

"Why were you downstairs?"

Pepper glared at him before turning back to the TV. "I may, or may not have been going down there to plan a certain party for a certain billionaire who shall not be named." She murmured.

"Voldemort?"

"Who?"

"Never mind…you're throwing me a surprise party?" He asked in surprise.

"Well I was going to. But I believe what sets a surprise party apart from a regular party is you not knowing about it beforehand." Pepper explained. "So now I'm just throwing you a party."

"Well I enjoy the thought either way." Tony assured her with a kiss to the cheek. Pepper smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.

A sudden voice from the elevator startled them out of their moment. "Oh yes! I love this show!" The couple jumped and turned to see his five teammates in bounding into the room.

"Oh for the love of all that is holy!" Tony groaned rubbing his forehead.

"Is this the one where the guy gets run over by a steamroller while using a porta-potty?" Natasha asked plopping down in an arm chair next to the couch,

"No, this is the one where the nymphomaniac dies from…too much… carrot…" Clint trailed off when Pepper and Nat gave him similar glares.

"What?" Bruce squinted his eyes as if trying to work out a mathematical equation. "How is that even possible? What force could she have used to have caused death?"

"What is a nympho…nympho…?" Thor questioned turning to Steve who looked just as bewildered.

"What is happening right now?" Tony demanded.

"Thor broke the cable box too, and the only DVD we have to watch is Shrek 2, so after watching that three times, we thought we'd see what you guys were doing." Natasha explained casually.

"We're planning the perfect murder. Anyone want to be our lab rat?" Stark growled with a manic look in his eyes.

"Tony, relax." Pepper sighed. "It's only eight o'clock. Let them hang out up here for a little while."

"Oh you are very kind Woman of Ironman." Thor said with a smile.

"Oh…you can definitely call me…not that…" Pepper forced a laugh while Tony beamed.

"No, no. We like that title." He said. "Continue with that one God of Hipsters."

"What is this show?" Steve asked, staring at the screen in repulsion.

"Oh! That's how the carrot did it!" Bruce raised his eyebrows at the new enlightenment. "Good to know!"

"Gentlemen, you can sit down!" Pepper said, gesturing the couch.

At the same time, Thor and Steve jumped over the back of the sofa. Of course since they failed to look before they leapt, they landed directly on Pepper's legs.

"Ow! Son of a Bi—"

/

Maria Hill sighed when she walked into the Avengers' empty living quarters. "This is the second time that super ninny has stood me up…" She muttered digging her phone out of her hand bag.

Just as she was about to dial, she heard a loud commotion on the floor above her, followed by the roar of the Hulk.

/

_**A/N: Okay, this chapter may have been slightly boring, but it will pick up! I promise!**_

_**I'm having a hard time deciding on whom I ship more Hill/Thor or Hill/Steve. I think they would both be adorable. I like Betty, so I don't have the heart to put Bruce with anyone else! Let me know what you guys would like to see for my next chapter!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry it took me a couple of days for this one! I'm traveling, and not everywhere has internet! But I hope you guys like this chapter!**

It had all happened so fast. One minute they were all talking and joking with one another, and the next thing Pepper knew, she was being hoisted up and hidden behind the overturned couch.

It was all the result of a couple of large superheroes' bad aim. When Steve landed on her injured thigh it was bad enough, but it was Thor landing on her feet that really made her cry out.

Her loud curse had Tony on his feet in a millisecond. Where his fast reflexes were usually very handy, in this case they were a curse. When he stood his head slammed right into Bruce's nose, making a loud crack when they collided.

Dr. Banner's cry of pain quickly turned into a loud roar. Without a thought, Tony grabbed Pepper and pulled her to the floor, while Steve and Thor flipped the couch onto its side.

"Banner!" Tony stood after making sure his girlfriend was situated, "I'm sorry!" Steve yanked him down.

"Really? Did you think an apology would change him back?" Tony shrugged and peeked out from behind the couch.

"Pepper, stay down!" He called behind him as he darted out and drew his giant green friend's attention away from the living area. "Hey! Hulky! Over here buddy!"

Hulk looked over and growled at the billionaire who was now picking up a barstool and waving it like a lion tamer.

"Stark stop being an idiot!" Natasha shouted from behind the pillar where she and Clint were hiding.

"Bruce! I know you can hear me!" Tony continued, pretending not to hear the assassin. "Listen, we just finished remodeling in here from your last temper tantrum, and if Pepper has to call in any more sweaty workmen she just might decide to marry one of them for the discount!"

Obviously not knowing—or caring for that matter—what the smaller man was saying, The Hulk picked up a potted fichus and threw it at him. Tony was able to dodge it just in time, but in the process of regaining his composure, he didn't see the Pac Man game coming.

"Tony! Tony! Oh my god!" Pepper screamed crawling out from behind the couch.

"No! Miss Potts!" Steve tried to grab her, but she pushed him away.

"Tony! Answer me!" Pepper pleaded, as she approached her fallen boyfriend. She slapped his cheeks until he startled awake.

"Wh-what happened…?" He slurred trying to sit up.

Pepper was about to answer when The Hulk interrupted her with an angry roar. The pair looked up to see the green giant standing above them, fist poised to strike. Suddenly, there was a loud shot, before Hulk stopped launch and collapsed just inches from the couple.

The group stared at the unconscious creature in shock before turning their attention towards the elevator, where one very pissed Agent Hill stood, holstering her gun.

"Captain, a word?" The woman yelled. Steve swallowed and looked at Thor who shrugged and pushed him out from behind the couch.

"Oh come on!" Tony groaned when he saw his smashed game on the ground. "He had about thirty other fichus and shrubbery to choose from, and he launches Pac Man at me? Traitor." He grumbled kicking the sleeping beast's hand as he stood up.

"I told you to move it out of the living room." Pepper reminded him as he lifted her and carried her over to the barstools.

"Are you okay?" Maria asked Rogers as he approached her sheepishly. Steve made brief eye contact with her before nodding. "Did you remember our date?" The agent continued. The Captain's eyes flashed with realization.

"Oh geeze! I'm sorry Maria! I completely forgot!" He apologized grabbing the woman's hand. "See, earlier Clint shot Miss. Potts, and then we watching this really funny movie about an ogre and a donkey—"

"Wait! Back up!" Maria held up her hands. "Barton shot Miss. Potts?" Her eyes narrowed as she looked past him at Hawkeye who stopped his conversation with Thor and looked around anxiously when he felt her eyes on him.

"Well…yeah…it was just a mistake though!" Steve said quickly. "He was just practicing with a target he had made himself and she walked in." He bit his lip, hoping she wouldn't read his poker face as he had stretched the truth slightly.

"And what the hell happened to piss Dr. Banner off?"

"Oh, well Tony hit him in the nose."

"What? Why?"

"He stood up too fast after Thor sat on Pepper's leg." He cleared his throat and sighed when she gave him a look. "Okay, I landed on her leg, he landed on her feet."

Maria stared at him with her piercing green eyes for a moment before speaking. "Let me ask you something Steve," She started, her tone almost too sweet for his liking. "Did Miss. Potts do anything to make you guys mad?"

Steve shook his head. "No! Of course not! She's been so nice to all of us!" He said quickly.

"Good, that's good." Maria nodded as though she didn't really expect another answer from him. "Now tell me this, _Steve_, you wouldn't let your animosity towards Mr. Stark affect how you treat Miss. Potts would you?"

Rogers stared at her in shock. "What? No!"

"I didn't think so." Hill gave him a kind smile. "So, do you want to tell me why she is currently having not only her wound leg iced, but her ankle as well?"

Steve turned to see Natasha flexing Pepper's foot back and forth while Tony hovered over it with a cold pack. "Well, Agent Hill," He cleared his throat nervously, "It seems to me that Miss. Potts has really bad luck."

Maria chose not to dignify him with a response as she walked past him towards the kitchen. "Mr. Stark, is everything okay?"

Tony gave her an exasperated look, "Besides the fact that five of the most powerful people in the world are using my penthouse for slumber parties, and my girlfriend as a target-slash-trampoline? I'm peachy!" He winced as Natasha lifted Pepper's pants leg to reveal one very swollen ankle. "Now if you'll excuse us, we need to make yet another trip to the hospital ward." Without another word, he picked up his girlfriend and carried her towards the elevator.

Maria sighed and looked at Natasha. "Who thought that putting all of these men under the same roof was a good idea?"

"The same man who thought that putting them in a flying boat was a good idea." Nat replied with a small smirk, before walking over to The Hulk who was still sleeping soundly. "What did you hit him with?"

"Just a little something that Stark whipped up, it's kind of a mixture between Etorphine and PCP."

"Sounds legal."

"Perfectly legal."

"When should he wake up?"

"In about an hour or so, he should change back by then."

"Well, either way, I think I'll play it safe and retire to my quarters for the evening. Goodnight Agent Hill."

"Goodnight Agent Romanoff." Marie nodded at her before looking at Steve. "Our date is going to have to take a rain check. I need to go make sure Miss. Potts has everything she needs, and tomorrow, I suggest you do the same." She pointed a finger at him before heading towards the staircase.

"Well, how do I do that?" Steve demanded following her.

"Figure it out! You're a gentleman. But all I know is that ever since you guys came into this woman's home, you've done nothing but wreak havoc." She gave him one last glare before leaving. "Fix it!"

When she was gone, Steve turned to look at Barton and Thor who weren't even pretending not to eaves drop. "So this means he has been whipped?" The Norse God asked the shorter man. Clint chuckled and nodded.

"Laugh it up fellas. We're all going down for this." Rogers told them.

"Why? I did nothing to harm the maiden!" Thor argued.

"Your big butt probably broke her ankle!" Clint reminded him.

"Big…b-butt?"

"Yeah well all the same, we need to make things right with Miss. Potts. She has taken quite a beating from us, and we owe it to her to do something nice."

"I can see if there's an 'I'm sorry I shot you in the leg' card at Hallmark." Clint suggested sarcastically. His two teammates exchanged confused glances. "Never mind."

"Well, we'll figure it out in the morning," Steve said clapping his hands together. "I suggest now, that we go to bed and get up early to make plans." He led the way to the elevator.

"I don't have a big butt." Thor muttered as the doors closed behind them.

/

They didn't make it back to the penthouse until about three in the morning. Tony carried the sleeping Pepper carefully off of the elevator and towards the bedroom. Her left leg was adorned with a white cast, supporting her fractured ankle.

On the way through the living room, Tony nudged the naked man sleeping on the floor, "Banner, I don't mind you sleeping over, but at least put some panties on." He whispered to the slowly-waking doctor, before taking his girlfriend into the bedroom and closing the door.

**I hope to have more Hill/Rogers in the future. It's hard to write Hill as anyone BUT Robin! Haha! **

**I also hope to bring in Betty Ross as well, just because I love that pairing. **

**I could try to bring in Jane, but I don't connect well with that pairing, so I think I'd rather not write it, than do it an injustice by writing it poorly. Tell me what you all think!**

**Review?**


	4. Chapter 4

Tony took a large swig from his water bottle as he exited the gym and stepped onto the elevator. He had been up since 6 AM working off some frustrated energy. After getting Pepper into bed, he simply just laid there and looked at her for about two hours before he got restless.

He hated the idea of her being hurt in any way, shape, or form. And after taking her to the hospital ward twice in one day, to say he was on edge would be an understatement.

Pepper had laughed while they casted her broken ankle.

"_It's kind of funny when you think about it." She said as they molded the plastic around her delicate limb._

"_How is it funny?" Tony was dumbfounded, "How is THIS at all funny?"_

"_I don't know…I mean…they're just a bunch of kids when you think about it." When all she got from him was a blank stare, she continued, "I mean, Steve is from another time, Thor is from another time and PLANET, Bruce is scared to be around…anyone—he's almost more like a puppy than anything else, Clint and Natasha were both orphaned for so long that they never really got a chance to have a real home life, they're all kind of naïve in a way." _

"_Yeah, so were Manson's Girls, but that didn't justify murder." Tony said through gritted teeth as he brushed his hand over her wounded thigh._

"_How is that even the same thing Tony?"_

"_I don't know…I was watching a documentary the other day…"_

"_And you immediately thought of the team?"_

"_They're dangerous!"_

"_It was an accident! Both times!" She reasoned. "They're like puppies with tails that are too big for them! They don't know how destructive they are!"_

"_Why do you keep comparing the most powerful team in the world to puppies?"_

_Pepper shrugged and tried to hide her smile as the doctor finished._

Tony couldn't help but smirk. His Pepper was always trying to be positive for him. If the roles were reversed—if he had been the one with a puncture wound and a broken ankle—those super heroes would have been out on the street so fast, they would have gotten nosebleeds. But being that she had him wrapped around her dainty finger, he decided to give them another chance.

Now, all he wanted to do was curl back up into bed with his girl, and go to sleep for the rest of the day. But once the elevator doors opened, he knew that that was out of the question.

On the couch sat Thor, with Pepper sitting next to him, her feet sitting in his lap. "See, on my planet," the Norse God was explaining, "I was the best at all kinds of artistry. I could make pottery, tapestries, you name it!"

"We don't boast about those kinds of things on this planet Thor." Clint called out from the kitchen.

"Oh don't listen to him! I think you're doing wonderful." Pepper assured the large man.

As Tony crept closer to the couch, he could see that Thor was decorating her plastered foot. It was only halfway done, but it looked as though the Asgardian was recreating Starry Night on the white cast.

"Damn…not bad Blondie." Tony complimented, startling everyone.

"There you are!" Pepper exclaimed as he greeted her with a gentle kiss. "You were gone when I woke up. I thought you had taken the suit out or something."

"No, I was in the gym on 76." Tony plopped down behind her and pulled her back to lie against his chest. "Are you okay?" He murmured into her hair.

"I'm fine!" She assured him, smacking his leg. "The team thought it would be nice to make us breakfast."

"Yeah…that's….that's sweet." He said through gritted teeth as he looked over at Steve and Clint flipping pancakes in the kitchen.

"I'm making my grandmother's special syrup!" Rogers said proudly, as he stirred the gooey mixture. He stopped when he saw Clint glaring at him, "What?"

"You too man?"

"What?"

Tony blocked out there arguing as he turned back to Pepper, "How are you feeling? Do you need some of your pills?"

"Maybe after breakfast." Pepper whispered, kissing his arm as he wrapped it around her chest.

"Hey Tony!" Bruce greeted them, coming out of the bedroom.

"Dr. Banner." Tony nodded at him with a look of suspicion that increased when Natasha came out of the room as well. "Did you at least change the sheets when you were done?"

Natasha shot daggers at him, as Bruce stopped in his tracks, a look of mortification on his face. "What? No!" He stammered.

"We were installing an adjustable mattress and a sling for Pepper to rest her foot in while she's sleeping." Natasha informed the Billionaire as she headed into the kitchen.

"Oh! Really?"

"No you can't play in it." Pepper stopped his train of thought before it even left the station.

"Okay! Bon appetite!" Steve announced bringing a couple of trays over and setting them on the coffee table.

"Wow! This actually looks edible." Tony exclaimed, handing Pepper a plate full of pancakes. "Sweetie, do you want to try the Captain's syrup? Because I think Aunt Jemima is chillin' in the fridge."

"Yes, she's been in there for six and a half years." Pepper reminded him, "So I think I'll take my chances with Steve's syrup, it looks great Steve thank you." She smiled at the Captain as he poured some of the gooey syrup onto her plate.

"You're welcome ma'am. I hope you like it."

The group dug in, all of them enjoying the silence. Of course it didn't last long.

"I have decided that I do not like this Abby Lee Miller." Thor announced, as though he were stating an important life choice.

Everyone stared at him in confusion before Clint spoke up. "Who the hell is Abby Lee Miller?"

"She is a tyrant and a menace!"

"She's the instructor on _Dance Moms_." Natasha explained. "She's not really nice to the kids on there."

"She is a monster! She yells at small children and demands that they do not cry! It is absurd!" Thor slammed his hand on the table, causing them all to jump.

"Relax buddy, it's not real." Tony assured the angry god. Everyone turned their glances on him. "What? I saw it once! When I saw the title I…I thought it would be about dancing moms, so I was intrigued! Then…I just…I couldn't turn it off…"

"It's okay honey, we all have our guilty pleasures." Pepper patted his cheek and cleared her throat.

"Yeah, I mean, sometimes I watch _The Dog Whisperer_." Clint confided. "I mean…that's slightly less creepy than watching little girls dance…but whatever."

"Those kids are talented!" Thor exclaimed pointing an angry finger at the archer. Tony nodded his head in agreement.

"Okay guys, calm down." Pepper teased, clearing her throat again.

"You okay?" Bruce asked her.

The redhead smiled and nodded, "Yeah *ahem* I guess I just swallowed weird or something…" Pepper rubbed her neck in discomfort. "My throat kind of *ahem* hurts."

Tony looked concerned as he turned her face towards him and made her open her mouth. "I hope you're not coming down with anything…" He trailed off when he felt her neck. "Pep…honey you're breaking out into hives!" He exclaimed as the quarter sized welts appeared on her pale skin.

"Hives? What could I possibly be having a reaction to? Unless…" She trailed off as she looked at the syrup on her plate.

"Captain Rogers, you wouldn't have happened to put strawberries in your special syrup would you?" Tony barked glaring at the man.

"We—well yeah…but what's wrong with strawberries?" Steve asked, shrinking back in his seat.

"Dammit!" Tony shot up and ran into the bedroom. "Pepper! Do you have an EpiPen?"

"In my purse!" Pepper replied, choking on a cough after her attempt to shout.

"Which one! There are like six million purses in here!"

"The black…*cough* one!"

Tony let out a frustrated growl as he ran into the living room with four or five black purses on each arm and one around his neck.

"The Michael Kors one!" Pepper rasped pointing. The men all stopped and studied the purses.

"Oh for god's sake!" Natasha sighed, snatching the appointed purse off of Tony's left arm and rifling through it. "Got it." She pulled the yellow pen out and ripped the cap off.

Tony winced as the Russian jabbed his girlfriend in the outer thigh with the device and held it there for ten seconds. After removing the needle, she rubbed the injection spot gently.

After a few seconds, Pepper stopped choking, and she was able to take a few deep breaths. "You okay sweetie?" Tony cooed pulling her into his arms. Pepper nodded with a sigh.

"Yeah…I'm fine." She assured him. "Just no more pancakes for now okay?" She smiled at the terrified men in front of her.

"Miss. Potts I am so sorry." Steve choked.

"It's okay captain." Pepper waved him off and turned to Tony. "I think I'd like to have a little rest now."

"Oh no! We're taking you down to have you looked at before anything else!" Stark told her, picking her up and carrying her towards the elevator.

"Tony! I'm fine!"

"You went in to anaphylactic shock!"

"Only a little bit!"

"There's no such thing as a _little_ anaphylactic shock Pepper—" Their voices trailed off as the elevator doors closed.

The group sat in stunned silence for a moment before Clint spoke up. "Agent Hill is going to kill us."

**A/N: I wonder how much more I should make Pepper suffer. I know that that's the plot and all, but if you guys think I should give her a break let me know! I'm having fun either way!**

**Review?**


	5. Chapter 5

**This is a VERY short chapter, but I'm just wrapping up this story to make way for the follow up. (Read end note).**

"So, let me get this straight." Maria rubbed the bridge of her nose as she paced The Avengers' common room.

"You," She pointed at Hawkeye, "Shot Pepper Potts in the leg with an arrow." Clint nodded awkwardly.

"And you," Hill proceeded to point at Thor, "Broke her ankle." Another small nod.

"And you poisoned her." She focused her glare on her semi-boyfriend.

Steve shrugged, "It wasn't really poisoning…I just maybe caused a minor allergic reaction. But how was I supposed to know—"

"Are we really going on semantics right now? Because I think if you want to get through this at all, you'll let me speak!" Maria snapped. Everyone closed their mouths and exchanged uncomfortable glances. "Did either of you do anything?" She turned on Natasha and Bruce.

"I turned into the Hulk…" Dr. Banner admitted.

"Not your fault, you can go." She waved them off.

"Can't we watch?" Natasha pleaded, but backed down when she received an infamous Hill Glare. "I'll go…check on Pepper."

Once the two left, Maria turned back to the sheepish men sitting on the couch. "Now, I have been given specific instructions by Director Fury and Mr. Stark, to see that the three of you are kept busy for the next two weeks while Miss. Potts recovers from her ordeal."

"Kept busy? How?" Steve questioned nervously.

"Well you see Pepper Potts is a very busy woman." Maria explained sitting on the coffee table casually. "She's in charge of co-running Stark Industries, making sure everything in the tower is running smoothly, as well as organizing everything Tony Stark does day-to-day, which I'm sure you all know would be a _very_ daunting task."

The men nodded in agreement.

"Well, with two injured legs, she's somewhat out of commission at the moment. But she's luckily able to do most of her duties on her computer." She held up her finger when Clint chuckled at the word _duties_. "Do you want to finish that thought birdy?"

Clint sobered up quickly and shook his head. Thor and Steve looked clueless.

"There _is_ one job that Miss. Potts felt secure enough to pass off onto you guys, considering that it's somewhat simple, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if you completely screwed it up." She paused and made eye contact with each of them, "You three will be planning Mr. Stark's birthday party."

/

"My poor Peppy-weppy." Tony cooed nuzzling her nose. Pepper laughed and pushed him off of her.

"Call me that again, and we'll see who needs the sling." She gestured the device Natasha and Bruce made for her. The two were spending the day locked in their bedroom—away from the menacing team—watching movies and playing board games.

"I think we should put shock collars on all of them, so that whenever they step off of the elevator and into our space…" He pretended to convulse. "It'll be beautiful."

"That's a little harsh Mr. Stark." Pepper rolled her eyes and slapped the stack of cards between them.

"There wasn't a Jack."

"Doubles."

"Damn." He let her take the stack, "I don't think I'm being harsh at all. They may have all been accidents, but you could have been killed. He should have asked if you were allergic to strawberries."

"It's not a common allergy. How would he have known to ask?"

"I don't know. He's a wise old fellow. He could have figured it out."

"You're being ridiculous."

Suddenly the door swung open. Tony let out a startled yell, and grabbed Pepper when Natasha walked in. "Back Cretan! We don't like your kind!"

"Stop." Pepper warned him, smacking his arm. "How can we help you Agent Romanoff?"

"I think after everything you've put up with in the past few days, you've earned the right to call me Natasha, Miss. Potts." The assassin gave her one of her rare, genuine smiles.

"Only if you'll call me Pepper."

Tony looked between the two as the smiled contently at one another. "Kiss." He whispered, effectively ruining the moment. "OW!" He rubbed his arm from Pepper's swift punch.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I have a little proposition I'd like to make." Nat sat on the trunk at the foot of the bed.

"Now I really like where this is going, do I need to get the camera?" Tony moved to climb off of the bed but Pepper glowered at him.

"Do you need a time out?"

"No."

"Continue Natasha."

"Well, you see, Valentine's Day is coming up and I can't help but think that Thor and Dr. Banner are feeling slightly lonely." The Russian explained.

"First of all." Tony interrupted, "Thor doesn't even know what Valentine's Day is. It's a day of _love_. And he's from a planet of _odium_. And secondly, my birthday is before Valentine's Day, so that should be in the forefront of both of your minds."

"Oh believe me, it will be." Nat replied cryptically, chuckling at the conversation she'd overheard when she pretended to leave earlier.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Hush Tony." Pepper snapped before turning back to the woman. "Now, what did you have in mind?"

Natasha smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"We'll need the jet."

**A/N: Now, I'm thinking of starting this all on a new story. I kind of thought of a whole new direction to take all of this, so I wanted to leave the theme of this story as it is. I might be in need of a beta of sorts to proof read (as well as tell me what they think of my plan), so if there are any volunteers, please PM me and/or REVIEW with your e-mail address. **


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